Jennifer Blake: Just Breath.

Just Breath.

December 5, 2011

Happy Monday! I hate Monday's I wont lie, but I always try to make the best of them. There is just something sad about seeing the weekend end and busyness of life start to take over again, but this week doesn't seem to terrible! I fell behind yesterday with reverb11 so you guys get three posts from me today, two will be reverbs for yesterdays and todays, and the third one is on a little DIY project I did last week that I have been dyeing to share!! If you are utterly confused and have no idea what I mean by reverb then check out this post to get caught up and check out this blog while you are at it, thats who I am getting this years prompts from!


Yesterdays was...when did you struggle?

2011 started with a bang for me, and I had high hopes for where it was going and what I would be doing...well things don't always work out as plan or maybe they do? I applied to graduate school for nursing right before the new year and was waiting eagerly to hear back. The days passed and I finally got my first letter, I had been wait listed...I tried to keep a positive attitude, I figured hey wait listed is better then rejected. Then the next two letters came and they both started the same, "we regret to inform you"...I was losing confidence each day. My fiance had applied to PT school and he finally made his choice, a school in Boston. We both liked the idea of being in the city and I still was holding out for one more school in Boston I had applied to. Then I got an acceptance letter...but the school was in Philadelphia, there was no way I could leave everything and everyone to go to school in Philly for 3 years, Aaron and I already had plans to move to Boston, and I was so confident I could get into the school in Boston I was waiting to hear back from. The letter finally came that I was waiting for...it was small and I was nervous. I opened the letter and it said..."we regret to inform you", I was in my car at the time and I was glad because no one got to see me lose it after reading the letter. I managed to pull myself together and head to my internship where I forced a smile and did my job. I told my family and my fiance that night, I am pretty sure I struggled to tell them for fear of disappointment, but I think I struggled more with the fact that I felt like a complete failure. I had been questioning nursing for a while, but I in a way felt like thats what I said I wanted to do and so that is what I had to do, but that was not the case and not getting in to a school that I was comfortable enough to go to help me see that. It has been months since then and I have really reflected on what I want to do with my life. Getting rejected was a huge struggle for me, it shattered my confidence and made me feel like a failure and like I had manage to let everyone down including myself. I think I still struggle with it, but having some time to figure out what I want has been a blessing in disguise. My internship opened me to a new career field and I just finished applying to graduate programs for occupational therapy. I know nursing programs are hard and competitive, everyone always told me I was trying to get into a tough field, but it didn't make it any better. All of my friends and my fiance were on the path to what they wanted, they got in where they wanted and I felt stuck, alone, and lost. I am in a much better place and I am excited about occupational therapy, I never felt this way with nursing which is why I think the struggle was worth it. I am nervous as heck about getting rejected from OT school, especially since I only applied to three, but I am trying to be optimistic and trying to have faith it will work out. 
Anyone else doing reverb11, attach your link, I'd love to check it out!? Anyone else struggle in 2011? 

XOX
J

2 comments:

  1. Hey girl!

    Thanks for the follow over at The Girl With The Blue Bow! I've been super busy, but just wanted to say hello! Following you back now!

    ReplyDelete

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