Jennifer Blake: a mix of emotions

a mix of emotions

August 2, 2013

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Sometimes...
There are days where you question everything.
There are days when you feel confused and lost.
There are days where you feel like you have not accomplished anything.
There are days when you feel like you don't know who you are or what you want.

Sometimes...
There are days when you feel on top of the world.
There are days when you feel like your words matter.
There are days when you know you were meant to do something.
There are days when you know exactly who you are and what you want.

Most days? Well most days tend to be a mix of the two.

Yesterday Aaron and I had a much needed long talk over coffee. I expressed how I felt like I have not accomplished anything. Sure I have my undergraduate degree and I am almost done getting my masters in occupational therapy, but in my mind I feel like everyone has a masters. What sets me apart? Nothing.
Aaron sat there telling me how wrong I was. That I have accomplished something and that I can't sit back and compare myself to what other people have accomplished by my age. I can't compare myself because everybody's circumstances are different.

I nodded in agreement half heartedly believing what he was saying, but trying to convince myself it was true. I know he is right, but sometimes we have such a hard time believing the truth (or maybe just I do). After coffee we headed back to the car to drive home, as I drove I tried to think about why I was feeling this way and if I should be feeling a different way. I think I sit here and read so many blogs and stories sometimes of everyone accomplishing so much that I start thinking I should be doing more. But as we were driving I realized that right now at this phase in life we are doing pretty well and we are working towards bigger dreams. It is all about the baby steps and baby accomplishments lead to bigger ones. So I am okay with what I have accomplished so far, and pretty proud. I am the first in my family to earn my bachelors degree and the first to get a masters, I'd say that is a pretty good accomplishment.

Do you ever get the feeling you should be doing more? Accomplishing more?


5 comments:

  1. I feel this way all time time! I always feel like there could be more I could do or accomplish. That's one of the reasons I started blogging!

    ~Ashley @ A Cute Angle
    http://acutelifestyle.blogspot.com

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  2. I agree with your husband you have done ALOT! Plus your plan will unfold in due time.

    Until it does maybe this will work for you. When I feel like that I try not to focus on why I feel that way and start thinking about the things I love and what I want my next project to be. This helps me stay in the moment a little more.

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  3. First off, I completely agree with your husband- you have done so much and have so many things to be proud over! You mentioned how so many people get their Masters nowadays but I think you'd be surprised what an elite group actually does. That being said, I totally get where you're coming from and often feel the same exact way! I'm really struggling with school right now in the fact that I'll have so much in loans when I graduate but I keep forcing myself to push through it. Hope things to start to look up for you! I think they always do. :)

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  4. I totally get those days when I feel that I should be going/doing/accomplishing more. I don't want to live a wasted life. But then I have to remind myself of reality and the projects and am working on and the season of waiting that I seem to be in now...every day is worth living, even if at the moment it seems like we're not being too quick to accomplish what we want to.

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  5. I like this post. I feel like some of these alot of the time. It's sad how most bloggers now a days are going thru some of the same things. It will truly get better. It always gets worse before it gets good. Trust in God and have faith in him.

    http://gabookworm02.blogspot.com/

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