Jennifer Blake: Getting Married Young Means...

Getting Married Young Means...

November 26, 2013

Being married young is something I will never regret, it means I get to have a longer life as husband and wife, with the person I love. I am happy, oh so happy. It doesn't mean its a walk in the park, its not all romance and happily ever afters, its work, a lot of work. It is work that is worth it.

Marriage...
It means figuring out this world together.
It means growing together.
It means never having to be alone during the hard times.
It means always having someone to cheer you on.
It means compromising and having patience.
It means saying you're sorry.
It means being selfless at times, even when you really don't want to be.
It means listening, really listening.
It means late night talks to figure it out.
It means constantly learning.
It means paving a new path together, as a team.

I am struggling with being selfless. The holidays are my favorite because I love the tradition that comes with the holidays, but I find myself wishing them away lately. Letting go of what I'm used to and accepting new traditions is so hard for me, I want it to be easy, but change is hard and making new traditions is hard. Giving up my Thanksgiving traditions and being away from my family is hard for me and I'm not sure how to make it easier. My goal is to stop stressing and just go with it, I want to make the most of the holidays which means letting go of stress and sadness and accepting the change that comes with marriage.

Did you find it hard to change your traditions once you were married?

4 comments:

  1. I'm struggling with this now! My fiance and I are figuring out the whole holiday thing. I love the holidays with my family, and he's always said his are usually pretty boring. But that doesn't mean we can just skip his family every year. I've adopted the same plan you have, just go with it. Makes it less stressful in the end (even if it isn't quite the same).

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  2. Yes! I cried the first Thanksgiving that I wasn't with my family. And don't even get me started on Christmas. But what I kept reminding myself and having conversations with my mom was that, it's not necessarily about the day on which you get together. It's that you can celebrate with one another regardless. That you can always count on the fact that you will see each other. Yes, it will be different, but once you make some extra room in your heart for your husband/fiances family and their traditions, your eyes will be opened to see that there is room for more. Your heart has more room for others than you realize but we have to be open to it. It is definitely a paradigm shift after you get married but it's worth it when you can create more and new memories with all those you love.

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  3. I love that Adam and I got married young for those same reasons! But you are right, the holidays can be so hard. His family is always insistent that we spend them with them. Lucky for them that usually happens but it doesn't mean I miss my family any less. I've tried to introduce his family to some of my traditions (hiding a pickle ornament in the Christmas tree, getting a new pair of pajamas on Christmas eve, etc...) It has helped me accept that I don't always get to see my family on the holidays and it's helped Adam's family realize that my traditions weren't the same as theirs. Plus, it adds a little fun for them because it is something new. And, I'm always sure to make it a point to his family that Adam and I don't go to their house until we get to Skype with my family. I figure they get us all day long the least they can do is wait to eat until we've had a chance to virtually celebrate with family that is far away. And of course we've started our own traditions - I buy Adam an ornament for our tree each year and he gets me one. We open our gifts to each other alone on Christmas Eve, and we eat breakfast together before doing anything else Christmas Day. (Wow, I guess I basically just turned that into a comment about Christmas haha! We've done similar things with other holidays though as well.) And, we do the opposite with my family. So, for example, we make sure to Skype Adam's family on the rare occasion that we aren't here for a holiday. But above all, just remember you have each other and that helps to make everything ok.

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  4. This is my first Christmas married, and I agree with this so much. I know one day I'll look back and laugh that I had such a hard time with small things like Christmas traditions, but right now it really can feel like life is ending.

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