Jennifer Blake: when walking away seems easier than coming back

when walking away seems easier than coming back

March 11, 2016

I used to blog every day. I used to fill these pages with thoughts and projects and moments. This blog started when I was in an unknown place, I had no idea what I was doing with my life, I watched the people around me head to grad school, to full time jobs; all I knew was who I was spending the rest of my life with but not what I was going to be spending the rest of my life doing. So I started this blog to fill time while Aaron went to PT school full time. I never thought I would fall in love with blogging, but I made connections and I found a place where I could say what I wanted and no one could stop me. I found an amazing, wonderful, and creative outlet.

Then life happened. Grad school happened. Moving happened. Full time jobs happened.

Somewhere between all of the changes, the blog became less of a priority and more of a chore. I felt tired and struggled with creating content, I struggled with just sharing life updates. It all just felt like a chore. So I took a week off. A week turned into sporadically posting for a month. Then I took a whole month off. Then I tried to come back to it full time, but it only lasted a week before I took another week off.

The more time I spent away from this space the harder it became to come back. I continued to read blogs but writing just felt hard. So hard. I kept reading about blogging becoming less popular, because people want to skim, they want to look at pictures not read a story. Which made it even harder to come back, because why come back if no one wants to read anymore.

Then I stumbled across a TED talk yesteraday called, Teach Girls Bravery, Not Perfection. Perfection or bust.

It felt easier to walk away then to push through this creative block. This fear that what I am writing isn't good enough. So here I am pushing back. Fighting through. This space started as a place just for me, a journal of this crazy and magical life. This space is a place I can look back on to remember the big moments, but more importantly the little moments. I'm getting rid of all expectations, all rules and getting back to the roots- story telling and connection.

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