Jennifer Blake: Dear Eloise // Week Four

Dear Eloise // Week Four

October 2, 2017

Dear Eloise,

4 sweet weeks. 4 weeks of your ever changing facial expressions. 4 weeks of your snuggles. 4 weeks of your sweet noises. 4 weeks of diapers. 4 weeks of breastfeeding. 4 weeks of pure raw joy. 4 weeks of exhaustion. 4 weeks of having your dad home with us (mostly). 4 weeks of learning. 4 weeks of growing. 4 weeks of figuring out how to be your mama. 4 weeks that flew by in the blink of an eye.

This was our last week with your dad home for a majority of the week and even though I know we will be okay without him, I cry every time I think about him going back to work full time. We will find our new normal I am sure, we always do, but I also have no doubt there will be tears and frustration. This week you found your voice and have figured out how well your lungs work. You only cry when you are hungry, but the cry that you let out to tell me I am a few minutes late feeding you your fifth lunch sounds more like an alarm that the world is ending. You had your second bath at home this week and you seem to enjoy it so much more, it also helped that I got a little smoother about washing you and getting you in and out of the kitchen sink.

You are latching better during feedings, but at night you are tired and it is much more difficult, my patience at night isn't always the best either, but were both working on it together. I am getting more comfortable nursing in public which makes going out feel a little less overwhelming. I learned that you do not like the wind and that no matter the weather I should always pack a blanket for you. This week was a big first for you dad and I, we left you with your Gramma so we could grab a quick dinner for our 5 year anniversary and it was hard. I felt so anxious leaving and I couldn't shake the feeling the entire time at dinner, although the margarita did help. We were only gone for about an hour and a half and I knew you were in great hands, but I sure did miss you.

Things are good around here. We are realizing our new normal is ever changing, your needs are constantly in flux and were okay with that. You are a different baby from the day we brought you home. More head control. More appetite. More vocal. More aware of your surroundings. Ever growing and ever changing. We are learning more and more each day, which I guess is what parenthood is all about. Your needs come front and center and we are learning how to fit our needs around you. You have given me more patience and made me more humble that past 4 weeks and I am so grateful.

I can't wait to read more books, stare at your sweet face and watch you take in this world. I love you Ellie.

Love always,
your mama

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